


Their Little Girl

by Randomdcrambles



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst angst angst!, Captain Canary Son, F/M, Hal Jordan is Tanner's foster brother, John Stuart is Zayna's foster brother, Next generation fic, See if you can spot 'em! ;), There are Easter Eggs in this fic, Vixenwave Daughter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-20
Updated: 2017-04-20
Packaged: 2018-10-21 08:27:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 20,085
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10681509
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Randomdcrambles/pseuds/Randomdcrambles
Summary: Sometimes love is holding on; sometimes love is sacrifice. Tanner Snart, Zayna Snart, Leonard, Sara, Mick and Amaya learn that the hard way.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, everyone! So this is a story that was originally posted on Tumblr, but I got a couple of requests to put this on ao3 one of the them because someone wanted to show this story to his/her friend. I have five chapters on Tumblr but I'm going to post this one at a time since I don't have much time today.  
> This story was inspired by a Mixen headcanon that I sent in to Agentmarymargaretskitz (She has an ao3 too if you want to check it out!) and the headcanon was that Leonard and Sara's son falls in love with Mick and Amaya's daughter, thus making the current Vixen of Detroit (Mari), the result of these two ships.  
> The first chapter takes place in the future then it will go back 10 years to how Tanner (Leonard and Sara's son) and Zayna (Mick and Amaya's daughter) met and fell in love. Len, Sara, Mick and Amaya will eventually make an appearence.

September, 1995:

Tanner Snart looked in the review mirror before taking a turn into the back road of the rural area of Hub City. So far, it looked as if no one were following them, but it was hard to tell because it was near midnight.

He looked beside him to see the silhouette of his wife leaning her elbow of the window rest; he could tell she was looking out the window.

“We’re almost there,” he cleared his throat.

Zayna nodded.

“I know.”

He looked into the rear view mirror again, this time to look at his five year old daughter asleep in her car seat.

“It’s only temporary.” He assure her. “Just until we can get rid of Damien Darhk, and then our lives will return to normal.”

“Yeah; I know.”

Tanner gripped the steering wheel. He hated this. What it was doing to him, to his family, what Darhk had done to his parents, to her parents, everything. He seemed to thrive on destroying other people’s lives.

This was why they were doing what they were doing.

Tanner turned into the driveway of a cabin and turned the ignition off. He looked to Zayna and rubbed her back.

“You ready?” He rubbed her back. He saw her nod too quickly.

“Mari’s going to know something’s up the moment she sees her mother not smiling/ Can you try to smile? Just like the Zayna I grew up with?”

Zayna nodded and breathed shakily.

“Yeah, I think so.”

“Good.” He brushed her black hair behind her ears, “this isn’t easy for me, either.” He kissed her forehead then reached into the backseat.

“We’re here, sweetie.” He shook his daughter’s little leg.

She woke up.

“It’s dawk out.” She said in her little five year old accent.

“Yes, it is.”

“Are you ready to inside the cabin and meet mommy and daddy’s friends?”

Zayna asked.

“Okay. They nice?”

“Yes.” Tanner nodded, “They’re really nice.”

“Okay; let’s go!” she wiggled in her seat as if that were going to unlatch her.

Tanner chuckled and unbuckled her seat, then opened his car door.

“Thank-you!” He heard Mari say from inside the car.

Zayna got out of her seat and closed her car door; Tanner could see her small smile at their daughter’s blissful oblivion.

Tanner opened the back seat and Mari hopped out landing on her feet and two hands like she had a habit of doing. He closed the door just as Zayna got their daughter’s suitcase from the trunk and slam the door shut.

“Let’s go, sweetie.” Tanner ushered his daughter ahead and she skipped up the steps like she had always known the place. Zayna came up next to him and Tanner put his arm around her shoulder as they walked up the steps together.

Zayna rang the doorbell.

An African-American woman in her early thirties answered.”

“Tanner! Zayna! Come in. And this must be Ms. Mari.” She knelt down in front of the girl after they had all walked in.

“I’m sleeping over with you!” Mari chirped.

“Yes, you are. How do pancakes sound in the morning!”

“Yum!” 

“We have a dog in the living room by the fire if you want to go see him.”

“A doggie? Can I, Mama?”

“Yes, you may.” Zayna said not bothering to correct her grammar.

“Yea!” Mari scampered off into the next room.

“I wish we could have come during the day, Jeanne.” Tanner apologized.

“Now, don’t you worry about me! You two are the ones you should be worried about. Is that her suitcase? Let me take it upstairs.”

Zayna held back as she reached for it.

“I’d like to show you something first.” Zayana said.

“Alright; Let’s go into the kitchen first.”

Tanner followed the two women into the kitchen and Zayna set the suitcase on the table and unzipped it.

“Give this to Mari on her 16th birthday.” Zayna handed her a wooden box. “There’s a book inside explaining what the amulet is about; she should be ready by then.”

“‘There’s also a letter in there,” Tanner said, ”From both of us.”

Jeanne reverently took the box.

“I’ll put this in a safe compartment for the next 11 years. I know where it’ll be safe.”

“Thank-you.” Tanner felt his heart tug as he remembered how many tears his wife had shed while that letter was being written.

Her room looked perfect for a little girl who loved animals as much as Mari did. Animal prints were everywhere including a cheetah print bedspread set, not to mention the rows of stuffed animals that lined the shelves.

“This is perfect,” Zayna said, “She’ll love it.” She hesitantly set the suitcase down.

Tanner had an impending feeling that they should leave.

Now.

“Ready to go?” He asked Zayna.

They locked eyes, and Tanner knew that wasn’t true. But she nodded anyway.

They both headed down the stairs to find their daughter asleep next to the golden retriever next to the fireplace.

Zayna shook her.

“Honey. Daddy and I are leaving.”

Mari sat up and rubbed her eyes.

“Alright.” She stood up sleepily and yawned then hugged her around the legs, “Bye, Mommy.”

Zayna swallowed hard then knelt and wrapped her arms tight around their daughter.

“I love you so much.” Zayna said.

“I wuv you too, Mommy.”

Zayna held on for one last second before letting go.

Tanner immediately scooped her up in his arms. She giggled out loud then clung to his neck.

“Now, you be good for Ms. Mccabe.” He tapped her on the nose. “Love you, Snow Fox.” He kissed her on the forehead.

She hugged him around the neck. “Love you too, Daddy. And don’t worry; I’ll be so good, that she won’t wanna get rid of me!”

Tanner had to swallow hard himself upon hearing this.

“That’s my girl.” He choked as he set her down and ruffled her hair.

“Shall we depart, my love?” He asked dramatically to keep the smile on his wife’s face.

Zayna was being so brave, but looked as if she were going to snap at any moment.

“Yes; let’s.” She linked arms with him as as they walked into the hallway.

“Don’t worry,” Jeanne said as she held the door open, “I’ll take real good care of her.”

“We’re counting on that.” Tanner nodded solemnly as he and Zayna walked out the door.

Neither said anything for ten minutes after they had driven away from the cabin. But then, Tanner heard a sob from the passenger seat and he let his heart pull the car over and put it into park.

“Zayna.” He attempted to sooth rubbing her back.

Zayna broke down and started to cry.

“She’ll hate us, Tanner; she’ll grow up hating us!” She turned around and allowed him to hold her.

He rocked her back and forth.

“Hey,” He gently pushed her away and wiped her tears away. “This is only temporary, remember? We’ll back in a few months and we’ll all live in Central City. How does that sound?”

“Like a fairy tale.”

“One that’ll come true; you’ll see.”

Zayna shook her head.

“We’re never going to see her again, are we?”

Tanner swallowed the lump that was forming in his throat.

“We can’t think like that, okay? Hey, chin up, Zay. We’ll be back for her before you know it.”

A smile, however forced it was formed on Zayna’s face.

“Right.”

“There’s my brave girl.” Even still, Tanner couldn’t shake the foreboding feeling forming in the pit of his stomach as he started the engine to head to the airport.


	2. Chapter 2

 

 

Two days had gone by since Tanner and Zayna Snart had left their daughter in the care of Jeanne Mccabe. Not much had been said since they had boarded the airplane to India where they could lay low. 

Tanner had just woken up in the hotel they had stayed in and rolled on his side to see Zayna’s back to him, her long black hair draped across the pillow her head rested on. 

10 years ago, they had been just kids. Two 15 year old foster kids living in Coast City without a clue to who their parents were, or the fact that their parents were connected. 

Tanner had been tossed around from home to home since he was a baby. Growing up, he had known only one thing; that his parents had loved him very much, but the circumstances had made it impossible for them to keep him. 

Tanner had always just assumed that his mom was a teenager who had gotten pregnant, and was shamed into giving him up for adoption. It had been 1970 when he had been born, at least, that’s what the birth certificate said. He found out later that this was far from the truth, and that he was born in 2017, but this wasn’t discovered until he was about 18-19. So, most of his life, he had to be content with just the knowledge he had been given. Which was cliche and cheesy at best, but it was all he had. 

Because of his reserved nature, Tanner had been through a high turnover of family experiences, never putting down roots, but always wanting a home. He learned when he was in third grade not to get attached to anybody, because he would just miss them later; the pain was far from worth it.

When he was fifteen, however, just before he started high school in 1985, all that had changed when he went to live with a couple in Coast City. 

“It’s different this time,” the social worker had told him, “They seem really interested in adopting you.” 

This was something new to Tanner, but he decided to keep his hopes on the down-low until the paper were presented to him. 

The social worker had dropped him off at the home and was introduced to the Jordans; a nice couple with a baby named Hal who would be his brother if everything worked out, but Tanner tried to keep that far from his mind. 

Mrs. Jordan was in the process of making dinner and Mr. Jordan was in the office taking care of a couple of things, so Tanner had decided to take this opportunity to go outside and familiarize himself with the backyard. 

A typical suburban yard with a flower garden, a rose and tomato trellis grape-vining itself up the back of the house in between the window. It even had a swing hanging from a single tree branch which Tanner had decided to take advantage of. 

The moment he sat down, something had caught his attention. He could see over the fence and saw something–or rather someone–on top of the next door neighbor’s roof!

Tanner jumped out of the swing and ran to the fence and leaned on it looking up. It appeared to be a girl dressed in black leather pants and jacket trying to keep her balance. Needless to say, Tanner had never seen anything like it. 

He looked in the yard and saw an African-American woman watering some flowers. 

“Um, ma’am,” He managed to say calmly. 

The woman looked up. 

“Hello,” she said with a friendly smile walking toward him, “Are you Tanner? James and Rebecca have been talking of your arrival for weeks.” 

This information would have staggered him if he wasn’t so concerned for the girl on the roof. 

“Um, yes, ma’am. I just wanted to let you know that there’s a girl on your rooftop.” He pointed. 

The woman’s smile vanished and she whipped her head around. 

“Zayna Rae Stuart! You come down that rooftop this instant! Are you trying to get yourself killed?” 

The girl with amazing agility and balance spun on her foot and placed her other foot on front of her and crouched down on top of the roof. Instead of using the ladder leaning on the side of the house, she slid on the side of the roof and canon-balled into the pool by the house. 

Tanner felt his jaw drop and the woman gasped in disbelief. 

“What am I ever going to do with you, girl?” She called out to her as she walked toward them soaking wet with a smile on her face. “Yesterday, you were hiking the train tracks and now you’re jumping off of rooftops!” 

The girl shrugged nonchalantly and stood beside the woman peeling off her black jacket and letting it drop to the grass revealing a red tank top and an unusual golden necklace hanging from her neck.

“Oh, goodness, where are my manners?” The woman stuck out her hand and Tanner shook it, “My name is Mariel Stuart, Mari for short; and this is my daughter, Zayna.” 

“Nice to meet you,” Zayna shook Tanner’s hand and he could see the danger in her eyes; she was an adrenaline junkie and wasn’t afraid to find ways to get her fix. “I’m adopted by the way.” 

“But no less part of the family.” Mariel assured placing her hands on  Zayna’s shoulders, “I just wish you wouldn’t get yourself into so much trouble.” 

Zayna shrugged, and Tanner couldn’t help but also notice that she was drop dead gorgeous, beauty and danger wrapped up into one.

 _Focus, Snart, no attachments,_ he chided himself. 

“Tanner Snart,” He introduced. “I’m the Jordans new foster kid.” 

“Well, Tanner, you’re welcomed to come over to our house any time. Isn’t that right, Zayna?”

“Sure; I like company.” She sounded like she meant it, and Tanner was a good lie detector.

“Well, I’ll leave you two to talk; I need to go check on the soup.” She set the watering can on the ground and walked in the direction of the house. 

“When were you adopted?” Tanner asked. 

“As a baby.” Zayna leaned on the fence and hooked one angle behind the other.

“So you don’t remember the foster  care system?”

She shook her head.

“No. How long have you been in it?” 

“All my life.” 

Zayana looked away. 

“I’m sorry.” 

“No, don’t be; not your fault that my parents dumped me then vanished off the face of the earth.” It was harsh, but true. 

“My parents weren't much better. The only thing they left me was this necklace.”

She fingered the two charms hanging from her neck.

“What is it?” 

“A flame and a fox head; have _no_ idea what it means. I think it’s custom made; can’t find it in any jeweler’s shop.”

“Well at least your parents left you something you can wear into your adult years; my parents left me a baby’s blanket with birds and snowflakes on it.” 

Zayna laughed. 

“Yeah, I guess that’s true.” 

Call it fate or destiny, but Tanner felt drawn to her in a way that he had never been drawn to anyone before. It went beyond attraction, physical or otherwise; it was an instant connection that he had never experienced, one that he was cautious, about but not wanting to waste if he could keep it.

They went to the same school and it turned out that Zayna was a good social choice, because everyone liked her. All the guys wanted to date her, and quite a few girls wanted to be her. She was the life of the party, got invited to plenty, and was all around the kind of person you just wanted to be with. If Tanner wasn’t so good at reading people, he would’ve been fooled into thinking that she had it all together. Sure, she had never known her parents, but she had hit the jackpot when it came to adopted parents and it seemed to be that luck just seemed to favor Zayna Stuart wherever she went. He wouldn’t have been surprised if she knew the secret to the Jedi mind trick because getting what she wanted appeared to be so easy. 

But behind the smiles, the wild stunts, and laughing eyes, Tanner knew that all this, though a part of who she was, was a way to deal with the fact the infamous void that most foster and adopted kids had. To forget the daily question that plagued them to no end. “Why did they give me up?” “Was I not good enough?” “Do you regret giving me away?” “Do you miss me or even think of me?” 

Tanner had seen right through her and knew her pain; he felt it too, for it was his daily battleground. Maybe that was why he was so drawn to her. 

“Ever wonder why they gave you up?” Zayna asked one day five months later as they were sitting in the Coast City ice cream parlor drinking the milkshake of the day, “I mean; I do all the time.” Her finger moved the the flame and fox head charms hanging from her neck. 

Tanner smiled grimly. 

“If I told you all the theories and all of the fantasies that I’ve created over the last fifteen years, we’d be here till closing.” He took the maraschino cherry off of the whipped cream covering his milkshake and popped it inot his mouth. 

Zayna smiled back. 

“Me too. You want to hear my top fantasy? It’s kind of sappy and tragic, but it would be better than being the daughter of a couple of potheads.” 

“Shoot. Can’t be any worse than the ones I’ve thought up.” 

“Alright, my #1 theory is that my parents gave me up because I was the result of a mixed race relationship. You know, like my dad was white and my mom was black? Anyway, whenever I feel hopeful enough, I indulge that they wanted to keep me but there was too much opposition from both families so they gave me up so I could grow up with a better chance and not be known as the the half-black kid, and each of the charms represent something significant from both of their lives.” Zayan’s dreamy smiled vanished and she stared into her glass. 

“Kind of lame, huh?” 

Tanner chuckled. 

“Not as bad as the one I created where the government was after my parents so they put me in foster care as a way to hide me with the intention of coming back for me later. Yours is a tad more realistic.” 

Zayna smiled without looking up at him. 

What was he doing? He had told himself no attachments because he could be shipped off at any time to the next family 3,000 miles away, and yet here he was allowing himself to hang around the biggest temptation of his life. Though, the Jordans seemed pretty keen on keeping him around. Mr. Jordan had even purchased tickets to go see the baseball game with him next week, and Tanner was pretty excited about it. 

BIt by bit, Tanner felt his resolve start to chip away as five way gave way to six, then eight, and finally ten. His room began to feel like home, Mr. Jordan started to call him “son” and Mrs. Jordan knew all his favorite meals by heart. 

The Stuarts had become regular dinner time guests and Tanner was falling more to Zayna every day. 

Girls had never been on his radar before because he had been always on the move. The closest he came too was Josie Warner from 5th grade and he had been moved to another family before he could so much as pick a daisy for her.

Now was a little different. He was coming onto his first full year at the Jordans and he was seriously thinking about asking her out. Something he had never thought he would do as long as he was in the system. But things had changed dramatically in the last year and with it, his priorities. 

How he asked her out was a surprise even to him. 

He had purchased Def Leppard concert tickets as a 16th birthday gift to Zayna, a gift she was over the moon about. She had squealed then flung herself at him in a fierce hug saying how she couldn’t wait until the “big night”. 

She had ran over to his house the next week in her Def Leppard tank top, black leather jacket gold hooped earrings and a red bandana tied around her head ready to sing “ _Rock of Ages_ at the top of her lungs”, which is exactly what she did. Tanner found himself doing the same, Def Leppard always being a favorite of his.

* * *

 

“That was AWESOME!” Zayna said after the concert was over still high on the hype of the night. “I LOVED how they sang _‘Rocket_ ’! It was so cool!” She jumped in place and it was in that moment that Tanner realized that he was holding her hand. She looked down in surprise then pulled it back. Tanner stuck his hand in his pocket. 

“So…what was your favorite song?” She asked sticking her hands into her back pockets. 

“Um, I’ve always been partial to ‘ _Foolin_ ’.” He stared out into the parking lot and cringed. “We’re parked so far back, I’m guessing it’s going to be a while before we can be out of here.” 

Zayna followed his line of vision and nodded. 

“Yeah…” she looked around and her face lit up. “Hey!” She pointed. “There’s a Big Belly over there! Want to get something to eat? I’m starving.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

There wasn’t any room inside so the two teens settled for getting something from the service window and eating on the porch in the lamp post light. 

“You seem to have a thing for mint chocolate chip milkshakes,” Tanner observed as she drank her second in a row. 

“What gave it away?”

“Not quite sure yet.” He smiled as he finished his chicken sandwich. 

“You’ll get there, Snart.” Zayna winked then put her lips on the straw. “Don’t feel bad thought; it takes people a long time to figure me out. My parents are still in the process of doing just that.”

“I don’t think I ever want to ever figure you out completely, Zay; kind of takes the fun out of hanging out with you; I like surprises.” 

Zayna looked up then away to the parking lot looking uncharacteristically shy. 

“And if you were to ever figure me out?” 

“I’ll just come to the full realization of who I know, that’s all.” 

A small smile made its way to her mouth and she looked at. 

“The parking lot’s empty except for your car.” 

“You mean Mr. J’s car.” Tanner stood up crumbling up the chicken sandwich wrapper, “I have yet to get one of my own.” 

“Well, you’re just going to have to get a better paying job, Mr. Snart.” Zayna stood up picking up her milkshake. 

“I’ll have to look into that.” He smiled then tossed the wrapper in the direction of the trash getting it in the first time.

“The Coast Falcons need me.” He said as they walked into the concert arena parking lot. 

“Hey, there’s your better paying job right there!” 

Tanner laughed. 

“You think?” 

“Yeah why not?”

“Basketball players are tall. In case you haven’t noticed I’m not the tallest guy in the world.”

Zayna stood up on her tip toes passing Tanner in height. 

“You’ve got time to grow.” 

“Barely.” He grabbed her wrist then pulled her down. 

She laughed then wrinkled her nose in the fashion she usually did when someone did something that ticked her off.

“You’re standing on my shoe, Tanner.” 

“Sorry.” Tanner moved his foot off of her shoe not moving his gaze from her face. How long had he been standing that close? 

“Would you consider me your best friend?” He asked her. 

Zayna drew her eyebrows together. 

“I don’t know what I consider you as,” She said thoughtfully locking eyes with him. 

“I’ve had best friends with guys and girls alike; this is different. How, I’m not sure; I just know that it is.” 

Tanner swallowed at the intense stare she was giving him. Her eyes were dark and magnetic, and had become his weakness in the last year. He knew he had to pull away now before he did something stupid, but he found himself rooted to the asphalt. 

Zayna looked down and it was then that Tanner discovered that he hadn’t let go of her wrist from earlier. He expected her to pull away, but she didn’t. Instead, she looked up and locked eyes with him again and she placed her hand on top of his. 

_Let go, now,_ he told himself, _let go and just walk to to the car and open the passenger door for her._

Zayna slowly elevated herself by her tiptoes and kissed him. 

Tanner was surprised at first, then quickly adjusted allowing his suppressed emotions to be released.

He wrapped his free arm around her waist and pulled her closer; Zayna used her available hand to reach up and cup his jaw. Her soft skin sent shivers down his spine.

He suddenly felt Zayna tense in his arms and he pulled back. He looked down and saw that he must’ve scared her. Her eyes were wide with shock and fright. 

Tanner let her go and she slowly stepped back a couple of inches. 

“I’m sorry.” Her voice was unusually raspy. Her shoulders rose and fell with her heavy breathing, just as he realized his was.

“No,” Tanner responded, “I’m the one who gave in.” 

Zayna looked away then stuck one hand in her back pocket and used the other to press against her forehead. Neither one said anything for a couple of seconds. 

“I’ll take you home,” Tanner finally said, “Your parents are probably wondering where you are.” 

Zayna nodded, but still didn’t look at him, nor did she as they walked to car or when they got into it. She kept her elbow on the window rest and her eyes on whatever scenery there had been between the arena and the street where they lived.

Tanner tried to fill the awkward silence with the radio, but _Bringing on the_ _Heartbreak_ , _I Just Died in Your Arms Tonight_ and _Listen to Your Heart_ didn’t seem like the appropriate playlist for the drive home. In the end, he settled for his White Snake tape and tried to not think of _Here I Go Again On My Ow_ n as a possible foreshadowing of what could be coming next.

He pulled into his driveway and put it in park. 

“I’m sorry, Zayna.” He broke the hour long silence between them pulling the keys out of the ignition. He looked to the passenger seat and saw that she was looking at him for the first time since the parking lot. 

“Don’t be,“ she responded above a whisper, “I shouldn’t have engaged.” 

Another moment of silence passed between them. 

“So what does this exactly mean for us?” Tanner dared to ask looking at her again leaning back in his seat. 

Zayna shook her head. 

“I don’t know; how long have you seen me in that way?” 

“I don’t think you want to be asking th–” 

“How long?” She looked at him. 

“You want to know the truth?” Tanner crossed his arms. 

“Yeah.” It was dark but he could still see her piercing stare. 

“Since the day I met you.” 

Zayna looked away and tapped her finger on the window rest.

“I think the question is how long have you felt that way about me?” 

Zayna spun her head around and Tanner continued speaking without a hitch. 

“I mean, _you_ were the one who initiated that kiss.” 

Zayna shook her head. 

“I don’t know what I was doing, or even thinking.” 

“Subconsciously, you must’ve.” 

“I don’t know.” She groaned and held her head between her hands, “It’s all too confusing right now.” 

“Then I’ll give you some space until things become more clear.” 

Zayna looked up at him and Tanner resisted the urge to brush her hair behind her ears. 

“Alright.” She sniffed and that’s when he realized that she had been holding back tears, “I’ll call you.” She opened up the door and slammed it, then ran across the small parking lot and vaulted the fence without a problem. She sprinted across her front yard and up the lit front porch. Tanner watched as she unlocked her door and entered her house. 

He ran his fingers through his hair feeling bereft. What had he been _thinking_ letting things get out of control like that back there? He slammed his palm against the top rung of the steering wheel. In the state she was in, he wouldn’t be surprised if he had lost her for good.


	3. Chapter 3

_You howl and listen_

_Listen and wait for the_

_echoes of angels that won't return._

Vertical Horizon: _Everything You Want_

* * *

 

Aside from the fact she didn’t know who her biological parents were, Zayna Stuart had hit the jackpot in life. 

She had two adopted parents who were crazy about her, a three year old brother named John that wanted to be just like her ‘when he grew up’. She was on the top of the social scene, had lots of friends and guys tripping over themselves to get a date with her, shallow as they were. 

But yet, 4 years prior, Zayna hadn’t had that going for her. In fact, no one wanted to hang out with her because of one thing: she was a very bitter person. 

* * *

 

Jack and Mariel hadn’t hidden the fact that she was adopted from her. They told her when she was 9 years old that her parents had given her up for adoption. Well, they hadn’t put it in those words. The words they had used were the cliche: “They wanted you to have a better life than they could offer you, so they gave you that chance by giving you away.” But Zayna had seen it for what it was. 

She hadn’t been good enough. 

Her parents didn’t want her. In fact, they hated her so much, that they couldn’t stand the sight of her, so they dropped her from their lives and went on their merry way. 

Now, she had never said these things out loud; she let them fester, poison her soul, which affected her everyday life. 

She had become withdrawn, which was the worse thing in the world for an extrovert such as herself to do. She rarely smiled, her grades dropped, and she even got into fights at school. It got worse when John had been born when she was 11. 

Instead of celebrating with the fact that there was a new addition to the family, Zayna looked at Jack and Mariel from afar wondering what she had done so wrong to not stay with her biological family. Instead of playing with her new brother or even seeing him as such, Zayna had grown worse. 

Needless to say, Jack and Mariel were on the brink of despair with their daughter. A year later, after much thought and searching for the right one, they hired a therapist to see her. 

Zayna had balked and resisted. 

“You think I’m broken too don’t you?” She had crossed her arms and looked defiantly at the Stuart couple. 

Mariel had looked at her with shocked pain and Zayna immediately felt guilty. It was their fault she had been given up for adoption. 

Eventually, she had given in but said she wasn’t going to give the therapist the time of day, which, she hadn’t at first. She just stared there looking at her while she talked. 

“Well, it appears you’re quite a fighter,” the therapist, Lee Thomkins had said in her chair from across Zayna’s. 

Zayna hadn’t even responded with a shrug. She just stared right through her.

“Your parents tell me that you’re...bitter toward your biological parents.”

This time she responded with a shrug. 

“You’re a stubborn one.” Lee observed with a smile. “I can tell you have a lot of fire as well.” 

“I get it from my dad.” Zayna responded. 

“You do?” 

“Nah, I’m just spit-balling here. I could get it from my great-uncle’s second cousin for all I know.” 

Lee looked sympathetic. 

“I know it hasn’t been...easy for you, finding out that you’re adopted. But you’re not alone. Thousand of kids just like you are wondering the same thing.” 

“And that’s supposed to make me feel better?” 

“No. It’s just to help you understand that you’re not as alone as you think.” 

Amaya looked down at her feet and pulled them up on the chair she was sitting on crossing her arms leaning back in her seat. 

“I haven’t met any more adopted kids.” 

“Coast City is a relatively small city compared to a place like say, Starling City or even Central City. And from what I can tell, you haven’t interacted with many kids from your school so who knows? There might be one in your exact situation.” 

Zayna didn’t have a response to that. 

Lee pulled out a leather notebook. 

“Now, what I want you to do is to take this notebook and fill it with letters.” 

Zayna’s interest was piqued. 

“Letters?” 

“Mhm.” She handed the notebook to her which Zayna took. “I want you to write a letter each day to your biological parents of what you would say if you were to meet them now. We’ll look it over next time I come around.” 

Zayna had taken the notebook home and put it on the shelf in her bedroom, then took it back out and put it on her bed. She stared at it deciding whether or not to follow Dr. Lee’s advice. Well, she knew it was more of a project, but Zayna had always taken everything as “advice” instead of instructions.

She fianlly gave in and took a pen from her desk and sat on her bed with the journel. She had a few things to get off her chest anyway. 

_Dear, Mom and Dad,_ she started, _I freaking hate you guys. I don’t care what situation you two were in, you should not have given me up! How could you do that to me? How could you leave me wondering everyday who you are? Everyday, I look at just about every woman, every man and wonder if that person is one of you! I almost wish at times that I still didn’t know. That I was still blissfully ignorant and Jack and Mariel were always my biological parents and I had a place in this world. A pretty darn good place at that. Now, because of you, I don’t have any place. I don’t belong anywhere. I can’t look at a happy family now without thinking about what could’ve been if you two had kept me, barring any fact that you two are potheads that didn’t screw up your lives and put yourselves in a position to where you “had no choice but to give me up”. If that’s the case then you two should’ve cleaned up your acts to raise me! How dare you choose your selfish addiction over me if that’s indeed the case why you gave me up. If I’m an illegitimate daughter, Dad, if you have other kids, I hope the fact you go to sleep every night knowing you abandoned your daughter haunts you to the point where you have hallucinations of Mom and I due to your sleep deprivation. And, Mom, if it was you who had other kids and had the affair, I wish the same to you too. Tenfold. In fact, if I ever got the chance to meet either of you guys, I wold walk up to you and put my finger---_

**_Knock! Knock!_ **

zayna looked up from her notebook. 

“Who is it?” 

“It’s me, Zayna.” 

Zayna used the pen as a bookmark and walked over to the door to answer Mariel. 

Mariel walked in with a small black box in one of her hands and sat on her bed. 

“Now,” She said, “Your father and I have talked it over and we have something we’d like to give to you.” 

Zayna blinked and closed the door then sat beside her adopted mother. 

“Now,” Mariel started, “when we first adopted you, we were given a bunch of things that came with you. Things your parents wanted you to have.” 

Zayna blinked. 

“What? Why didn’t I know about this?”

“Because we were told that we were not to let you have them until you were 16. 

“They had requests, your parents. Some unusual, some not. They wanted you to have a story read to you every night, lots of stuffed animals if we could afford it....” 

“Wait!” Zayna said taking her eyes from the black box, “You guys _met_ my parents?” 

Mariel nodded. 

“Yes, we did. They wanted to meet us personally so they would have an idea of what kind of home you would be put into.” 

Zayna, for once was speechless. 

“Anyway,” Mariel continued, “They wanted you to have the best of everything. One of their more unusual requests was to get you involved with martial arts and gymnastics. Like I said, an odd request, but at the same time...” 

“What were my parents like?” Zayna interrupted only half listening to what was being said a few seconds prior. She felt as if she were underwater. 

“I’m getting to that,” Mariel said, “Patience. Like I said those were their unusual requests. Another one was to keep you away from fire.” 

“What?” Zayna felt perplexed and was sure it showed. 

Mariel laughed. 

“That was your father’s request. Apparently he was a bit of a pyromaniac.” 

“O....kay?”

“Jack and I only knew them for two hours, but I could tell they loved you very much.

“Your mother; she looked just like you. Maybe a little darker. But You have the same hair, the same smile and eyes. 

“She was so sweet, Zayna, and it broke her heart to give you up. She was trying so hard not to cry.” 

“Why did they give me up then?” Zayna’s anger was back, though not as strong as before.

Mariel looked sad. 

“Honey, I think they gave you up because your father was a white man.” 

Zayna felt taken aback. 

“Wait...my dad’s...white?” 

Mariel nodded. 

“Your parents were in love; that much I didn’t doubt. He loved you too. in fact, he was holding you the majority of the time. But, I think they didn’t want anyone to know growing up that you were the daughter of a white man and a black woman. So they decided to give you a better shot. They even left you with some keepsakes. Most of which you still can’t have until you’re 16, but, Jack and I didn’t see the harm in giving you this, if only for you to see that they didn’t leave you because they saw you as broken or they didn’t love you.” She handed Zayna the black box which she took then opened. 

in it was was a golden necklace with two charms hanging from the chain; a fox’s head and a flame.

Zayna took the necklace and let it dangle from her fingers so she could better observe it. 

“Do you like it?” 

“Yeah, I do.” And she was surprised to find that she really meant it. She picked up the charms and saw something engraved on the back of the flame. 

_To our beautiful daughter, Zayna; we love you so much. --Mom and Dad_

Zayna didn’t want to cry, but found herself close to it. _  
_

“Does this help you in any way?” Mariel asked stroking her hair.

“A little,”  Zayna sniffed and bit her lower lip, “But I have more questions then ever now.” _  
_

Mariel nodded.

“I understand, honey. And Jack and I are always here for you.” 

Zayna looked at her and saw how concerned she was; for her. She hugged her. 

“I know; thank you for giving this to me.” 

Mariel held her tight. 

“Your welcome; we love you so much, Zayna.” 

Zayna pulled back and realized for the first time how much pain she had brought to the woman who had dedicated her life to becoming her, and felt guilty and saw now how selfish she had been. 

“I love you too, Mom.” _  
_

After that, her letters were a little different. She still hated them, but not as much. In fact, after about a month of writing letters, she didn’t hate them at all. _  
_

 _Dear, Mom and Dad,_ she wrote on her 13th birthday, _I don’t hate you  guys anymore. I still wonder why you gave me up, but I realize now how hard it must have been to do so. I’m 13 years old today. Do you know that? I met a woman last week who said she had to give her daughter up for adoption when she was 16. She didn’t know I was adopted or else she might not have told me, but she said that every birthday she goes out and buys and makes a cake for the daughter she doesn’t know. Do you guys do that for me? I don’t know who who two are, but I want to find you when I graduate high school. I would like to get to know you guys and to let you know that I’ve had a good childhood. You didn’t misjudge Jack and Mariel when you gave me to them. In fact, now I can’t imagine my life not knowing them. I love them so much and I’m buying a toy tuck for John’s second birthday. Green is his favorite color, so I’ll see what I can do about that! And I know you’d be a little disappointment in me, Dad, but I started a bonfire today for my birthday! It was too much fun! Now I know why you’re a pyromaniac! I often wonder now what a whole house would like in flames...just kidding!_


	4. Chapter 4

##  _**Have you ever thought just maybe** _

##  _**You belong with me?** _

##  _**You belong with me.** _

## Taylor Swift: **** _ **You Belong With Me**_

* * *

##  **August, 1985**

Zayna laid on her bed bored out of her mind trying unsuccessfully to balance a pencil by its eraser on her nose. She’d never thought she’s say this, but she would be back when school started. Life, as nice as it was after she accepted her circumstances, was sweet, but dull. Zayna lived everyday with an unexplained energy running through her veins that had to be exorcised, but rarely found anything to do the trick. 

Martial arts and gymnastics were fun, but she was hardly ever in a situation where she absolutely had to use it, and wondered why her bio parents even wanted her to learn it. Instead of being constructive with her abilities, she had been labeled as Coast City’s wild child, with her running the streets and causing mischief. Not illegal mischief, but enough where the local people questioned if their daughters should be hanging around her, or their sons should go out with her. 

Just yesterday, she had trekked the abandoned train tracks and discovered that they led into an old catacomb, and instead of the locals being excited that she had discovered a piece of Coast City’s history, she had been scolded for being in a dangerous position even though the tracks hadn’t been used in decades. 

The week before, she may or may not have had a part in starting a fire in the arcade, but in her defense, the guy shouldn’t have tried to light a cigarette as she was walking by with her hair loose. Luckily, she was known for having hair that would make Rapunzel jealous, so the damage to her hair wasn’t extensive and the firemen arrived just in time to save the majority of the building and games. But other than those two incidents, that was all the excitement Zayna had experienced all Summer. 

She often wondered if she were outgrowing the predictability of Coast City or if she was just going through  a phase. If she was going through a phase, she couldn’t grow out of it fast enough; she felt as if her head was going to explode with boredom. 

Zayna groaned as she placed the pencil on her nightstand by her bed. What in the world could she do? She had already cleaned the entire house for fun, gone to a movie, and gone to the grocery store to pick up items for supper just to stay sane. What was there left to do that would keep her mind occupied until dinner? 

An idea suddenly struck her and she sat straight up. She had never tested how her agility was on the roof of her own house. There was a tree she could jump on with sturdy branches or hop in the pool if worse came to worse. 

The whole suburb would think she was crazy, but they already thought she was anyway. Granted, it wasn’t the most entertaining idea in the world, but it was something, and, for the moment, Zayna would take it. 

* * *

 

Zayna had managed to go unnoticed as she climbed the ladder to the top of her roof. Its top was more flat than others, so it wasn’t the worse roof to be trying to keep balance on; but it was still challenging enough. She climbed carefully into a standing position and smiled at the view of the houses and the city skyscraper farther out. She had to admit, it wasn’t bad. She took a careful step forward and decided to go for the chimney. Once she got there, she would turn around, then head back to the ladder. This wasn’t as easy as she thought it would be. 

“Zayna Rae Stuart! You come down that rooftop this instant! Are you trying to get yourself killed?” 

Well, so much for that. 

Zayna somehow was able to turn around on her feet to see that Mariel was by the fence with a watering can in her hand, talking to a boy on the other side of the fence in the Jordans’ yard. 

Oh right, they were getting a foster kid; she had no idea that he would be so old. He looked to be about right around her age. Huh. 

Without a second thought Zayna decided to get her adrenaline rush by hopping into the pool instead of climbing down the ladder. She didn’t have to listen for Mariel to know that she was “tsking”. 

“What am I ever going to do with you, girl?” Mariel said as she climbed out of the pool and started walking toward her and the boy. “Just yesterday you were hiking the train tracks and now you’re jumping off of rooftops!”

Zayna shrugged as she came up beside her and peeled her jacket off, then kicked off her shoes. Next time, she wasn’t going to do that without thinking twice. She smiled at the boy and saw that he thought she was out of her mind. Well, he’d better learn now that she wasn’t far from it. 

“Oh, goodness, where are my manners?” Mariel stuck out a hand to the boy, “I’m Mariel Stuart, Mari for short, and this is my daughter, Zayna.”

“Nice to meet you,” Zayna stuck her hand out and the boy shook it, the shocked look not leaving his, “I’m adopted by the way.” She wondered if saying that would make him feel more comfortable with her; give them a common ground to work off of instead of her previous impression. 

“Tanner Snart.”  He took it and stared at her with a look akin to wonder. 

“Well,” Mariel said, “I have to go check on supper, so I’ll leave you two to get to know each other.” She walked away leaving the watering can on the ground next to Zayna. 

She looked at the boy and quickly observed him. He was average height, with blonde hair and startling blue cat eyes. He seemed to have a slight natural tan that made a slight contrast with his hair, but seemed to blend his features together nicely at the same time. All together, he wasn’t bad looking and he had a countenance that Zayna found herself immediately at ease with. 

“So how long have you been adopted?” Tanner asked as she leaned against the fence. 

“Since I was a baby,” Zayna responded. “How long have you been in the system?” 

“About as long as you’ve been adopted.” Tanner reponded folding his hands over to her side of the fence. His stare was as intense as his eyes were blue, though his smile was kind. 

As she talked with him more, she found out that the Jordans were considering adopting him, though he wasn’t “holding his breath”. Much like her parents, Tanner’s had left him a keepsake, though instead of a necklace, they left him a baby blue blanket with birds and snowflakes decorating it. 

“At least your parents left you something you can wear into adulthood.” Tanner said with a laugh. 

Maybe it was the fact that they both never knew their parents, but, by the end of their conversation, Zayna had felt a connection with him that was rare and had never been experienced with any other person. She smiled as she walked into her house; she was going to enjoy getting to know him. 

* * *

 

She knew Tanner was her best friend after the “Halloween Party Incident” a few months later. 

The high school she and Tanner were attending was throwing a costume party for Halloween and she and Tanner decided to go in similar costumes. 

“You look so pretty!” One of her friends, Amy said as she hugged her in her black cat suit, “Are you supposed to be Black Widow?” 

“Yep,” she said as Tanner came beside her in his Captain America suit tugging his collar, “It was his idea.” 

“I...see.” Amy said giving Tanner a knowing look that Zayna couldn’t translate the meaning of. 

“You want some punch?” Tanner asked her. 

“Sure,” Zayna responded. 

“Alright.” Tanner headed to the punch bowl. 

“So...” Amy said once Tanner was out of sight, “Are you guys...a couple?”

“What?” Zayna snorted, “Tanner and I? A couple? What ever gave that impression?” 

“Well...” Amy said looking behind her as they both watched Tanner getting two cups of punch. “You two have been piratically inseparable since you guys met, plus...you do know Captain America and Black Widow are a couple in the Avenger comic books, right?” 

“They are?” Zayna had never been much for reading comic books and only knew what Johnny told her which wasn’t much. 

“Yeah; it’s why I was asking.” 

“Well,” Zayna blinked, “we’re not if that answers your question.” 

“Oh, alright,” Amy looked relieved, “Well, I mean, black girls and white boys can be friends in this day and age, but any more than that, it would be downright...I don’t know, off?. I mean I know my parents would skin me alive if I were to date a white boy!” 

Zayna forgot about Tanner’s costume choices and felt her mind shut down at the statement thinking of her own biological parents and thought about telling her that if a white guy was never with a black girl, she wouldn’t exist, but Zayna held her tongue. It would do no good to ruin the purpose of why her parents probably gave her away. 

It was a good thing that Tanner returned at that moment with he and Zayna’s punch. 

“Here you go,” he handed her her cup. 

“Thank you,” Zayna smiled and turned to Amy only to find out that she was already moving toward the food tray across the room. 

“What was that all about?” Tanner asked. 

“Oh, nothing,” Zayna said taking a sip, “Just a misunderstanding. Want to dance, Tanner?” 

“You go ahead; I’ll watch.” Tanner smiled. 

“Okay suit yourself,” Zayna handed him her cup, “Hold this then please.” 

“Sure.” 

Zayna smiled and walked out to the dance floor just as the BeeGees _Stayin_ ’ _Alive_ started to play. She swayed her hips and allowed herself to get caught up in the music. 

She felt a tap on her shoulder and she turned around to see Rhett Zoloman, the quarterback dressed as a pirate. 

“Mind if I cut in, if your invisible partner doesn’t mind?” He flashed her a smile. 

Zayna felt herself recoil at his invitation. She had never dated the guy, but some of her friends had and the stories she heard was that he was too dogmatic, didn’t know when to stop touching them, and was a control freak. Accepting his invitation would be to give the wrong idea and he’d be announcing to the school that they were a couple by the end of the night. 

“No, thank-you;“ She smiled, “I’m more of one-dance partner kind of girl. Even if I can’t see him.” 

Rhett frowned. 

“Suit yourself.” He grumbled as he moved on, probably to his next victim.

Zayna turned around to see Tanner raise an eyebrow. He  drank the rest of his punch, threw the cup away and set hers down on the table and made his way toward her. 

“What was that about?” He asked. 

“Rhett just didn’t like the fact I turned him down for my invisible dance partner.” 

Tanner laughed then offered his hand toward her. 

“Do you think your ‘dance partner’ would like a break? I have an idea he’s short winded and needs one.” 

“I thought you didn’t want to dance.” 

“Changed my mind. I finished my punch.” 

“Alright then, Mr. Indecisive.” Zayna took his hand and the two danced to Def Leppard’s _Foolin’_. 

 “This is my favorite band.” She said as the chorus picked up along with the music. 

“Really?”  Tanner twirled her around then brought him close to her. 

“Yep. I would love to go to a concert of theirs someday.” 

“Hm.” Tanner said looking thoughtful. 

Zayna found it surprisingly easy to dance with Tanner and before she knew it, they had been dancing for about 15-20 minutes.

“I think I need a drink,” Zayna said as they finished dancing to Heart’s _Tall,_ _Dark, Handsome Stranger_.

“Yeah; I’m getting kind of hungry.” Tanner said, “Want anything from the food tray.” 

“I’ll look at it as soon as I get my punch.” Zayna headed back to the table where her paper cup was resting. 

“Alright.” 

Zayna took a  big sip then decided it was too warm and threw it away and walked to the punch table to get a fresh cup. 

A wave a nausea hit her as she reached the table and she had to lean against it to keep her balance. The room spun and she had to shut her eyes. 

“Hey, you okay?” 

Zayna opened her eyes to see Rhett Zoloman looking down at her. His image split into five versions of himself. 

“No,” She shut her eyes again, “I just suddenly felt sick.” 

“Let me help you to the bathroom.” She felt him gently grip her arm. 

This was the last guy she wanted helping her, but she didn’t feel like she had much time to wait for anyone else as another wave of nausea hit her. 

“Alright,” she consented. She kept her eyes shut until the entered the hall where she felt that the lights wouldn’t hurt her. Except when she opened her eyes, they were beyond the bathrooms and in front of a closet at the far end of the hall. 

Panic filled her as she realized what was going on. 

“No!” She squeaked and resisted trying to flee. 

Rhett tightened his grip and pulled her back. 

The room spun and Zayna felt more out of control by the moment as she tried and failed to to kick him in the shin; she had misjudged where his leg was due to seeing double and rammed her foot into the floor. 

“Help!” She cried out. She heard footsteps and felt herself move backwards as Rhett went flying into the wall. 

“You drugged her, didn’t you?!” 

Zayna laid on the floor as relief flooded her. Tanner! She looked up and saw that Rhett was rubbing his jaw. 

“No,” he said, “She wanted to come with me.” 

“Did. Not.” Zayna managed to get out as she struggled to stand up. She felt Tanner grip he by the shoulders. 

“How are you feeling?” He asked. 

“Not. Good.” 

“Let’s get you to the bathroom.” He turned her around and started to lead her away. 

“Hey, Snart!” Zayna heard Rhett shout behind them. Zayna felt pressure on her shoulders as Tanner pushed her down. She heard a grunt and turned around just in time to see Rhett get slammed into the wall and Tanner punch him in the jaw again. Twice. Rhett recovered and swung as Tanner ducked. Tanner sure knew how to fight!

Zayna stood up and made her way to the closet. She felt like she was going to lose, but she would rather pass out then not try and help him. 

She leaned against the opened door and grabbed a beam after choosing the one that wasn’t a mirage. She turned around to see Tanner using his smaller stature to get the upper hand as he ducked and even slid underneath Zoloman to avoid his blows. 

Zayna timed it as best as she could in her drugged induced state of mind and managed to get behind Zoloman just as he slammed Tanner against the wall. 

“I’ve got to hand it to you, Snart,” He said punching him in the jaw, “You know how told your own, but--” 

He didn’t get a chance to finish because Zayna slammed the heavy beam  on top of his head. He cried out in pain and turned around dropping Tanner. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” he said swaying just as Zayna delivered the blow that would knock him out. She tapped his head again for extra measure.

Tanner leaped up off of the ground and ran to her. 

“Are you alright?” He asked looking her up and down placing his hands on her shoulders.

Zayna  felt the ground move beneath her feet. “I think I’m going to be sick.” 

“Then let’s get you into the bathroom.” Tanner wiped his knuckles on his suit and took her by the shoulders. 

Five minutes later, Tanner was holding her hair as she retched into the toilet. 

She didn’t feel any less dizzy as she lifted her head, then doubled over and thew up again. 

Tanner rubbed her back with his free hand. 

“I think I’m done.” Zayna stood up on shaky legs and she pressed herself against the white tiled wall. 

“Alright.” She opened her eyes to find Tanner handing her a roll of toilet paper. 

“Thanks.” She wiped her mouth then threw the paper into the toilet and flushed it. “See Zoloman anywhere?” She pressed a hand to her forehead feeling slightly better but not by much. At least the room had stopped spinning. 

“Nope.” She opened her eyes yo see Tanner looking out the door and into the hallway. “Most likely slunk out the door; he’s not the bravest guy despite all his bravado.” 

“You can say that again.” She groaned and shut her eyes then opened them as she felt Tanner press one of his hands to her forehead. 

“How are you feeling?” 

His eyes were boring into hers and in her state of mind, she liked looking into them. 

“Like I wanna go home.” 

“Okay; you want to head back to my place until you feel a little bit better? We could watch a movie and we have extra blankets.” 

“Alright.” She smiled despite her situation. 

“Where did you learn to fight like that?” 

Tanner smiled wryly. 

“I was one of the smallest kids in the foster system; you pick up a couple of things after a while. Especially when  no one else will help you. That, and, I just signed up for the wrestling team.” 

Zayna laughed softly. 

“Well, I fear for all the other guys.” She said. 

“You kidding me?” Tanner asked, “You should sign up for that. That was pretty impressive back there, wielding that beam in your state of mind. Rhett defiantly didn’t see _that_ coming!”

Zayna smiled and leaned her head against the wall. 

“I wonder which parent I have to thank for my stamina?” 

“My guess is that they both had plenty to pass down so you just got a double douse. But, hey, what do I know? I’m no genealogist.”

Zayna chuckled softly in response, then frowned and reached out to touch Tanner’s bruised jaw. 

“He got you good didn’t he?” 

Tanner smiled then gently took her fingers and lowered them from his face.

“Don’t worry about me; I’ll be fine.” 

“Thank-you by the way.” She looked up at him hoping the thankfulness reached her eyes. 

“Thank- _you_ for knocking him out.” Tanner squeezed her fingers. 

“What are friends for?” She asked. 

Tanner chuckled then put his arms around her shoulder to help her out of the bathroom. 

“Let’s get you to my place, now shall we?”

“Yes; let’s.” 

Once they got to his house, Tanner spoiled her by tucking her in with two blankets, giving her the Jordans home brewed, non-alcoholic ginger beer and saltines. He allowed her to choose the movie and she spent the entire time resting with her head on his lap as he stroked her hair while laughing at the Princess Bride. Yep. She smiled. Tanner was definitely her best friend. 

* * *

 

As the months rolled by, Tanner looked more and more like he was belonging with the Jordans. Little Hal was speaking and was calling Tanner his “big bwother”, Jack was calling Tanner “son” and Mrs. Jordan was kissing him goodbye before school. Tanner hadn’t called them “mom” or “dad” yet, but Zayna felt as if it were only a matter of time by this point. 

Both of their birthdays were in June, exactly a week apart. Zayna wracked her brain trying to figure out what to get him. He was a guy who was content with just about everything in life, thus, making him the hardest person in the world to shop for. After scowering the stores and even contemplating making him a plate of cookies, Zayna decided on a black and gold watch. 

She wrapped it while gritting her teeth reminding herself that it was his fault that he didn’t want much in life and he was going to get what he was going to get. Repeating that in her mind didn’t help though. It was his 16th birthday for crying out loud!

The Jordans had a small birthday party and the Stuarts were invited. James’ present to him? A pair of Coast City Raven’s baseball ticket to the next game, of which Tanner had become a fan of over the last 10 months. Mrs. Jordan had bought him a new black leather coat to which Tanner had kissed her on the cheek for. 

“Thanks, Mrs. J,” He responded. 

Zayna felt a forced smile as she handed him her humble gift of cheaper-than-jacket-and-baseball-tickets wrist wear. 

Tanner’s eyes sparked as he looked at her before unwrapping it. He smiled. 

“Do...you like it?” Zayna asked tapping her foot nervously. 

“I’ve never had my own watch before.” He smiled at her then strapped it on his wrist. 

“Wait..never?” 

“Never. Thanks, Zay. It’ll look nice with my new jacket.” He stood up then kissed the top of her head. 

Zayna felt a happy warmth fill her from head to toe as she smiled with relief. It wasn’t such a failure of a gift after all! It wasn’t until later that she realized that she felt on Cloud 9 all day, not just because of the fact that he liked her gift, but because he had kissed her. She tried not to think about it, but it still wanted to push itself to the forefront of her mind. 

* * *

 

A couple of weeks later, Zayna looked into the mirror as she put the finishing touches to her makeup. The Def Leppard concert was an hour away and she was about to leave with Tanner to make it on time. 

She smiled as she remembered opening her birthday card at her party the week before to find the two tickets taped to the blank page. _Elated,_ was the understated word as she flung herself into his arms kissing him on the cheek thanking him over and over again. Tanner had just laughed and gave her a big hug saying on how he had “nailed it” with her gift. Zayna couldn’t have agreed more. 

She looked in the mirror and fluffed her hair wanting to look extra pretty. She suddenly stopped wondering why. It was just Tanner she was going with; it wasn’t like it was a date or anything like that. Her heart-rate picked up slightly at the thought and Zayna shook her head wondering why she was being ridiculous. She grabbed her necklace from the peg by the mirror and began to clasp it around her neck. She stopped and realized that she was 16 and she hadn’t received her keepsakes that her bio parents wanted her to have. In all the excitement about the concert, Zayna had forgotten. She would have to ask Jack and Mariel about that the next day. 

The sound of a door closing reached her open window, and Zayna looked outside to see Tanner walking down his front porch with his keys in his hands. Zayna looked at the clock on her nightstand and realized that she had run out of time. She cringed as she looked into the mirror noticing she didn’t get done half of what she wanted. 

_Well, it’s not a date, anyways,_ she reminded herself as she grabbed her perfume and sprayed it a couple of times on her neck and inside her elbows. _It really isn’t_. She looked in the mirror and hastily put on her lipstick as she grabbed her leather jacket off of the back of her desk chair and ran out the door and down the stairs. 

After a quick goodbye to her parents and little Johnny, Zayna ran out the door, across the lawn and vaulted the fence just as Tanner was getting into his car. 

“Hey,” he said with a smile as she got into the passenger seat. 

“Hey,” She smiled back and buckled herself. She took a look at him and noticed how good he looked in his black jacket and watch that she had given him just two weeks ago. 

“Is that cologne I smell?” Zayna asked to try and distract herself with little success. “What did you do? Swipe some of Jim’s?” 

Tanner chuckled. 

“Nope. Another birthday present from him that he said he forgot to buy me until after the baseball game we attended. Something about a ‘rite of passage’ for a guy my age. He let me pick it out.” 

“Well it was a nice choice,” Zayna said meaning it. “I like it.” 

“You do?” He smiled as he entered the keys in the ignition not taking his blue eyes off of her.

“Yeah, I do.” She stared out the window as he pulled out of the driveway. What was wrong with her? He looked the same as he had yesterday, so what was different? She stole another look at him while turning on the radio as a cover. There wasn’t anything different, but she found that she had a hard time keeping her eyes off of him. 

* * *

 

The concert was everything she had hoped for and more. They sang all her favorites and even added a couple of new ones that she liked. 

She sang “Rock of Ages” at the top of her lungs and Tanner joined along. She knew every word to _Foolin_ ‘ and _We Belong_ , being that they were a couple of her favorite songs of all time. By the time they had finished, it had only confirmed what she had been thinking she saw those tickets in her card, and that was that it was the best birthday present, ever!

“That was awesome!” She said as she, Tanner and other fans filed out of the arena, “I loved how they sang _Rock of Ages_! It was so cool!” She jumped in place and suddenly realized that she had been holding his hand. How long had that been going on? They both seemed to realize it at the same time and pulled back. 

“So...what was your favorite song?” She stuck her hands inside her back pockets. 

“Uh, I’ve always been partial to _Foolin_ ’.” He paused for a moment and Zayna looked at him to see that he was observing the parking lot. 

“We’re parked so far back, I’m guessing it’s probably be a while before we can be out of here.” 

Zayna followed his line of vision and saw that he was right. 

“Yeah...” She looked behind her and saw that one of her favorite restaurants was just next to the arena. ‘Hey!” She pointed “There’s a Big Belly over there! Want to get something to eat? I’m starving.” 

“Yeah, sure.” 

After ordering their food, they sat at a table in the porch light. 

“You seem to have a thing for mint chocolate chip milkshakes.” Tanner observed her with a smile as she moved on to her second one. 

“What gave it away?” She laughed and stuck her old straw into her new cup. 

“Not quite sure yet.” 

“You’ll get there, Snart.” She winked at him then placed her lips on the straw. Why did she just wink at him? She never did that before.

“Don’t feel bad though; it takes people a long time to figure me out. My parents are still in the process of doing just that.”

“I don’t think I ever want to figure you out completely, Zay,” Tanner’s voice was gentle, “kind of takes the fun out of knowing you. I like surprises.” 

Zayna’s heart picked up speed and she swallowed and looked to the parking lot feeling unusually shy. 

“And if you were to ever figure me out?” 

“I’ll just come to the full realization of who I know, that’s all.” 

Zayna willed her heart to slow down with little success, and saw her escape managing a small smile. 

“The parking lot’s empty except for your car.” She said. 

“You mean Mr. J’s car.” Tanner stood up crumbling his chicken sandwich wrapper, “I have yet to get one of my own.” 

“Well, you’re going to have to get yourself a well paying job, Mr. Snart,” Zayna  stood up picking up her milkshake glad for the break in tension. 

“I’ll have to look into that,” Tanner threw his wrapper in the direction of the trash can getting it in the first time.

“The Coast Falcons need me,” He said as they walked into the arena parking lot. 

“Hey, there’s your better paying job right there!” Zayna smiled.

Tanner laughed. 

“You think?” 

“Yeah, why not?” She tilted her head up at him. 

“Basketball players are tall, and, in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not the tallest guy in the world.”

Zayna scoffed then stood up on her tiptoes passing Tanner. 

“You’ve got time to grow.” 

“Barely,“ Tanner grabbed her wrist and pulled her down. 

She laughed then realized there was some pressure on her foot. 

She winked her nose. 

“You’re standing on my shoe, Tanner.”

“Sorry,” Tanner moved his foot not taking his gaze from her. She usually didn’t mind his intense stare, but tonight, it unnerved her. 

“Would you consider me your best friend?” He asked out of the blue. 

A couple of months ago, she would have given an emphatic yes. Now, she wasn’t so sure which unnerved her more than his stare. 

“I’m not sure,” she drew her eyebrows together locking eyes with him. Instinctively, she knew it was dangerous, but didn’t know why. “I’ve had best friends with guys and girls alike; this is different. How, I’m not sure; I just know that it is.” 

The moment the words were out, she knew. She knew how this was different. And it frightened her. 

She looked down and discovered that Tanner hadn’t let go of her wrist from earlier causing her to look back up. 

Pull away, she told herself, don’t do anything stupid. 

Instead, she found her hand on top of his and staring deeper into his eyes. 

Before she could stop herself, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. 

She felt Tanner’s surprise as well as her own, but it melted away as Tanner leaned in response and reciprocated, more urgently and hungrier than hers. 

She felt his free arm wrap around her back pulling her closer to him making her feel safe and warm. She felt her own free hand reach up and cupped his angular jaw and heard him sigh in pleasure. 

As if she were stuck by lightening, Zayna tensed. Tanner must have sensed her resistance because he pulled back letting her go. She staggered back a couple of inches, her heart racing as she realized what had just happened. 

“I’m sorry.”  her voice came out unusually raspy so she cleared her throat. 

“No,” he said his shoulders rising and falling with his heavy breathing, “I the one who gave in.” 

Zayna swallowed and felt the sudden urge to step forward and kiss him again, to relive how it felt to be in his arms. 

Instead, she resisted with every fiber of her being and stuck one hand in her back pocket and the other on her forehead. _  
_

Neither one said anything for a couple of seconds.

“I’ll take you home,” Tanner finally said, “Your parents are probably wondering where you are.” 

Zayna nodded but didn’t say anything, her mind racing with questions as they walked back to the car. 

She didn’t hear much of anything as Tanner flipped through the stations before settling on a tape for the long drive home. 

Unbidden, she kept reliving the kiss over and over again. What stuck out the most was not how he responded, rather, how quickly he had responded. It had taken no time for him to give in and join her. 

Did that mean that he had feelings for her? If so, how long? 

Her mind went over the months she had known him and saw things she hadn’t before. 

The costume choices for the Halloween Party, how tenderly he had been with her after Rhett Zoloman had drugged her. How he kept stroking her hair during the movie that night. How he seemed to find something wrong with every guy she went on a date with, how often he had complemented her when she felt at her worst. 

It just now occurred to her that she hadn’t been on a date with anyone because none of the guys she had met since Tanner had compared to him. _  
_

By the time they pulled into Tanner’s parking lot, Zayna knew that she had fallen for him, had for a long time, but decided she was going to be in denial until things became clearer.

Tanner on the other hand wasn’t willing to let it slide. 

“I’m, sorry, Zayna.” 

“Don’t be,” Zayna didn’t recognize her own voice because of how quiet it was, “I shouldn’t have engaged.” 

A moment of silence passed between the two and Zayna unbuckled her seat belt hoping to be out and in her room within seconds. 

“What does this mean for us?”

He had to ask. But, it was a question that had to be asked. Now it was her turn to ask the one question that had been weighing on her mind for the last hour. 

“I don’t know; how long have you seen me in that way?”

“I don’t think you want to be asking th-“ _  
_

“How. Long?” His answer confirmed in her mind what she had been estimating. She looked at him.

“You want to know the truth?” Tanner crossed his arms.

“Yeah.”

“Since the day I met you.” It was dark but she didn’t need to see his intense stare to know that he was using it. She looked away out the window longingly at her front porch wishing she were there instead of here confronting feelings that she didn’t know that she had. Sher tapped her finger on the window rest. _  
_

“I think the question is how long have you felt that way about me?”

Zayna spun her head around hating his perception and he continued to speak without a hitch.   
“I mean you were the one who initiated that kiss.” 

She didn’t need to be reminded. 

“I don’t know what I was doing or even thinking.” 

“Subconsciously you must’ve.”

“I don't know,” she groaned and held her head between her two hands, “It’s all too confusing right now.” _  
_

“Then I’ll give you some space until things become more clear.”

Zayna looked up at him relieved and terrified at the same time that the ball had been left in her court. One thing was for sure however: things would never be the same between them again. Whichever way she decided this relationship would go. 

“Alright," she sniffed only now realizing that she had been crying. “I’ll call you.”  She opened the car door and slammed it behind her, wasting no time running across the lawn, vaulting the fence and running up her front porch. She fiddled with her keys before finding the right one and inserted it into the lock. She opened the front door to find it dark inside. Her family must be asleep by now. Good. She didn’t want them seeing her like this; especially little Johnny. He wouldn’t understand why his big sister was so upset over one of his favorite people in the whole wide world. 

She crept quietly up the stairs and entered her bedroom closing the door gently behind her then turned on the light. She cautiously parted the curtains to see Tanner getting out of the car and walking up the stairs to his own front porch running his hand over his head. Her heart tugged. She didn’t mean for him to feel that way, or any way at all. She dropped the curtain feeling bereft and wiped her tear streaked face. This morning, Tanner had been her best friend. Tonight, she wasn’t sure what he was going to become to her. _  
_

She took off the necklace and hung it on the peg by her mirror and fingered the two charms reflectively. Was this how her own mother felt when she realized she had feelings for her father?

Zayna bit her lip trying not break down entirely. What point would there be to that? She took off her jacket and hung it over her desk chair trying to keep the memory of their kiss out of her mind, but failed. By the time she crawled into bed sh had probably relived it about 40 times along with Amy’s words from about 7 months ago. 

_A black girl and a white boy can be friends, but any more than that just seems kind of...I don't know, off? I mean, I know my parents would skin me alive if I were to go out with a white boy!_

Her parents were okay with her and Tanner being best friends, but how would they feel if they were to become anything more than that? 

She buried her head into her pillowed and cried softly. As usual, one act of recklessness on her part had just probably ruined everything. 

She had no one to blame but herself in this matter. _  
_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to anyone who caught that Captain Canary parallell at the Halloween party! ;)


	5. Chapter 5

                                _So many dreams were broken  
_

_and so much was sacrificed  
_

_was it worth the ones we loved_

_that had to leave behind?  
_

_so many years have passed_

_who are the noble and the wise?_

_Will all our sins be justified?_

_Hand of Sorrow,_ by Within Temptation **  
**

* * *

 

Amaya sat on the bed she and Mick shared on the Waverider, her heart felt like it was splitting in two. They had done the right thing, hadn’t they? There wasn’t any other way. 

She fought back tears thinking of Rip’s most famous like: _Time wants to happen._

She never went back to the 1940′s, but she was still put in a position to give her daughter up for adoption; the last thing she had ever wanted. 

Just a week and a half ago, she had held little Zayna in her arms for the first time. The moment she held her tiny form, she knew a love she had never known before; the love of a mother, and she knew what she had to do to protect her, no matter the cost to herself. 

* * *

 

She currently smiled through her tears as she remembered Mick holding her for the first time. He was so scared that he would hurt her that he almost didn’t take her when Amaya handed her to him. He awkwardly took the tiny pink bundle and held her close to him, her tiny person almost swallowed in his large arms. It was almost comical, but Amaya showed him how to hold her comfortably so he would feel safe doing so. Once he got the hang of it, he wanted to hold her almost every chance he got, especially since they both knew they had limited time with her. Amaya never withheld her from him for this reason, and she adored watching the scene anyway. She held a photo of him holding Zayna and tried not to cry. 

She knew the Stuarts would take care of her; after all, they hand picked the couple themselves and met with them. 

“I liked them,” Mick said after their meeting with them, “the dad looked cool-headed and the mom looked like the baking-cookies type.” 

Amaya had smiled at his accurate description of them as she had rocked Zayna in her arms. 

“But are they right for her?” 

“I think so.” Mick had replied sitting down next to her fingering their daughter’s downy head. “What about you? You’re supposed to have some sort of 6th sense when it comes to these things now that you are a mother, aren’t you?” 

Amaya couldn’t deny that she had a really good feeling about the Stuarts. They were just the kind of couple if she could have adopted to be her own parents, she would've. And so would Mick; she saw it in his eyes the moment they met them. The only reason why she was really delaying was because she wanted more time with Zayna. But more would never be enough when she wanted all of Zayna. 

“I don’t want to do this either,” Mick said seeming to read her thoughts, “But if we hold on to her, we might lose her anyway; in the worse way possible.”

Amaya had nodded. 

“It’s only temporary, right?” She forced a smile trying not to cry. “After all, her being adopted is just a fail-safe; in case we can’t get her back for whatever reason.” 

Mick nodded. 

“There’s my girl.” He kissed her head and pulled her close, “We’ll have her back before we know it.” 

The memory disappeared as Amaya stood up and put the picture in her dresser drawer for a safe place. She wiped her eyes and drew in a shaky breath. 

It had been a week, but the pain had been getting worse, not better. 

Mick had retreated into himself, of which Amaya was not surprised. In fact, that was exactly what she had expected him to do. He had withdrawn from her and everybody else and isolated himself, and she even caught him drinking a couple of times. This also didn’t surprise her, but she hoped he wouldn’t stay away for too long. She missed and needed him more than ever. If he continued to stay this way past a few more days, she would drag him out of the mental hole that he dug for himself, but, for now, she felt as if she needed to find someone else who could relate with her even more than Mick could at the moment; another mother who had to give away her child. 

* * *

 

Amaya found Sara in her and Leonard’s room sitting on the window seat that she often found them playing cards together. She was wrapped in a blue blanket with a couple of pictures in her hands, only of Leonard and her son Tanner. Much like Mick and Amaya, Len and Sara had to find a safe place to keep their child and put him in foster care. The only difference was that Tanner had been born a week ahead of Zayna so they got a whole extra week with their child, whereas she and Mick only got a few days with their daughter. Either way, though, Tanner was as gone as Zayna was, and at this point, there was nothing either one could do about it. At least, until Darkseid and Damien were stopped. 

Sara had needed a break so Rip had taken her place as captain until she felt like she could get back on her feet. It was the first time Amaya had seen Rip in action as captain and she could see why the whole group admired him. 

“Looking at pictures as well?” 

Sara looked up at her with a broken smile. 

“It’s all I have of him for now.” 

“I know what you mean.” Amaya sat down in front of Sara. “How are you holding up?” 

Sara tilted her head back and forth. 

“I”m not alone for starters,” she said, “I have  you and Len to get me through it. Rip’s also been a big help.” 

“Yes, he has.” Amaya crossed her legs. 

“What about you?” 

Amaya gave Sara a broken smile of her own. 

“I have you for starters.” 

“Mick hasn’t come around yet?” 

“No. But I haven’t expected him too.” 

“Just give some time. Leonard was telling me last night that if Mick loves someone enough, he’ll come through just for them. He’s probably still processing that 1, he had to give his daughter away, and 2, that he even _has_ a daughter.” 

Amaya laughed softly. 

“I’m still trying to process that myself; it doesn’t feel real.” 

“I know what you mean.” Sara looked fondly at the picture in her hand, “Even after a few days after I had Tanner, I woke up thinking that he was a dream and that I imagined him. Then I’d see Len holding him, he’d bring him to me, and I knew that he was more real than anything that ever happened to me.” 

“Scary isn’t it?” 

“Terrifying.” Sara laid the picture down on the window seat, “But I wouldn’t trade him for anything; even if I had to give him away for a little while.” 

“How do you think they’ll turn out?” Amaya asked. 

“Guess we’ll have to find out when we get them back.” 

“But...just in case.” 

A shadow passe over Sara’s already tired features. 

“I see.” She looked thoughtful and smiled. 

“I know; how about you guess how Tanner will turn out, and I’ll guess how Zayna will turn out?” 

“Alright; you go first.” 

“Okay, let’s see...” Sara tapped her lips in though looking almost mischievous. 

“If you guys are lucky, she’ll turn out just like you. She’ll be kind with a big heart and always think twice before making decisions. If you’re _not_ lucky, however...” 

“Oh, boy, I think I know where this is going....”

“She’ll be wild, addicted to burning things, and in general, a whirlwind the Stuarts weren’t prepared for. 

“They’ll be on _their knees_ , every night, _praying_ that you and Mick will come back and save them from the disaster that they never deserved. And on top of that, she’ll be drop dead gorgeous, so no one will be able to resist her, so she’ll leave a trail of broken hearts in her wake.” 

“Wow.” Amaya suddenly wished she never agreed to this. “I...sincerely hope that she’s like the former.” 

Sara laughed. 

“Of course there’s a chance for a happy medium, but I was just trying to scare you. Besides, you never know. Your turn.” 

“Alright...” Amaya sat back thinking, “Tanner...will be full of ‘quiet trouble’. No one will know what hit them until it’s too late. 

“He’ll be a smooth talker, able to charm a girl without even trying, but when he loves, he’ll give his whole heart away and make a full time commitment to it.

“He’ll be on top of his class, and have enough charisma where he’ll lead it. There won’t be many probably that he can’t get out of.” 

“Wow,” Sara smiled. “sounds like my son might be a good match for your daughter 20 years from now.” 

Amaya laughed softly. 

“Do you think there’s a chance that they could meet?” 

“I don’t see how they could. I mean, there’s a reason why we left Tanner in Hub City and you left Zayna in Coast City. But if there’s one thing we’ve learned it’s that time’s a funny thing; you never know what could happen.”

* * *

 

You knew you were depressed when you lost your taste for alcohol. 

Mick threw the half-empty bottle disinterestedly into the trash and covered his face trying to keep the image of his tiny daughter out of his head. 

There was so much that he had done wrong over the course of his life there could be three ledgers in tiny print full of his wrongdoings, especially after he had become Chronos. He didn’t do anything to deserve Amaya, but he somehow, _somehow_ by some miracle he had been able to win her heart. Still, he was surprised as anyone had been when she had said yes to his marriage proposal. 

And now, 3 years later, their daughter, one of the few things he had gotten right, they couldn’t keep, all because Damien had found a way to crawl back into their lives and give them a worse adversary than they had ever come across before. 

Mick had tried to tell himself that giving Zayna away had been for the best. Given enough time, he would have tainted her anyway. She would have lost her mother’s sweet innocence and adopt all of his bad habits and then some, just as he had done with his father. 

But still, she had _whimpered_ when he had handed her to Mrs. Stuart and reached out her tiny arms for him to take her back; and he couldn’t. 

It had been too much. Mick had never felt more helpless in his entire life. As a husband and father it was his job to protect his little family at all costs, and, yet, while doing just that, he couldn’t shake the feeling that he had failed Zayna somehow. 

“Thought I might find you here.” 

Mick looked up to see Leonard walk into the room. He couldn’t bring himself to snap at the man because he had just gone through the same thing he did. The only difference was that he had an extra week with his kid and just seemed to know how to handle it better. Then again, this was the guy who had taken countless beatings from his father and juvie, had from a young age practically raised his sister and made a 180 turn in his life after he had become part of the team. Len just knew how to handle stress and change. 

Mick looked away and didn’t say anything as Len walked to the food/drink imitator and ordered a Sam Adams. He sat down in front of him and didn’t breath a word as he screwed off the cap and took a couple of sips looking thoughtful. 

“Just came from Sara and I’s room; or rather, just outside of it. It appears our wives were having a chit-chat about what our kids will be like when they get older.

“I also overheard that you and Amaya haven’t been spending any time together since you gave Zayna to the Stuarts.” 

So that’s why he came here; Mick should have known. He looked away not knowing how to respond. 

“Mick,” Len toyed around with his beer bottle, “I’ve known you since we were teenagers. Whenever something drastic happens you tend to do various things to cope, but these two seem to be your favorite; you tend to isolate yourself from everyone who loves you, and you turn to the bottle.” 

“The bottle’s not helping this time.” 

“Mick, the bottle’s never helped you; not once. But it most certainly won’t help you now. But I know of something--or rather someone--who can.” 

Len didn’t even have to say her name to know whom he was referring to. 

“Did you know that there’s a likely 50/50 chance of a divorce happening after the loss of a child?

“Now, Zayna’s not dead, but it’s going to be a long time before you can have her back, and in the meantime you’re left to deal with that.

“You’ve had a lot of ups and downs over the years; most the downs have been of your own doing. And some of the ups have been happy accidents that you’ve just happened to come across. Amaya’s one of those.” 

Mick scoffed. 

“I still don’t know how I got her.” 

Len chuckled. 

“I’m going to be quite honest with you, Mick; you could live a thousand lifetimes and still never deserve that woman.” 

Mick smiled despite his situation.   
“But in all seriousness,” Len looked at Mick with one of his famous stares, “You have a good thing going with Amaya, Mick; a _good. Thing_. Don’t blow it this time.”

“What do you want me to do? Steal a jump-ship, go back in time and bring Zayna back?”

“Hardly anything so drastic, though I’ve been tempted to do that with Tanner. But what she needs is the simplest thing you offer her at the moment; just be there her. Even let her cry on your shoulder as uncomfortable as that sounds. She needs you now; more than ever, and if you, her own husband, can’t be her safe haven, who can?” 

Mick was silent for a moment. 

“How have you been handing this with Sara?” 

“The same thing I just told you. She cried for an hour straight the other night before even beginning to calm down for the night. Nothing I could do about it except to just hold her and let her cry. She thanked me for it later. I tend to find that sometimes your very presence is a support. Just being in the same room, rubbing her back, holding her hand. Little things like that. And never hold back that you miss Zayna too. Amaya knows that, but just saying it brings a connection that’s helpful. Does that help?” 

Mick thought about for a moment and nodded. 

“Good.” Len stood up and walked back to the food/drink imitator and pressed a few buttons, “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to bring Sara one of her favorite comfort drinks. Cinnamon hot chocolate has always been a favorite of hers.” 

Len left the room with a cupful of hot chocolate with Sara’s name engraved in blue cursive on the cup and left Mick to think on what Len had advised him to do.

* * *

 

Amaya laid in bed that night trying to sleep. She heard the door open and heavy footsteps entered signaling that Mick was here for bed himself. 

She expected to hear his footsteps walk to the bathroom or the closet, but instead she felt the bed move as he climbed onto it and she felt his heavy hand rub her back. 

She opened her eyes to see him looking down at her from his position on his his side. 

“Hey,” he said brushing his knuckles against her temple and the her hair.

“Hey,” she sat up and saw that he seemed to be struggling to say something but didn’t know how. She fought back tears when she saw it for what it was. He was trying to reach out to her. She moved closer to encourage him and she wrapped one of her arms around his waist and laid down in the crook of his elbow. 

Mick drew her close into a hug and used his free hand to dig his fingers into her hair. 

“How are you doing?” He asked kissing the top of her head. 

Amaya fought back her emotions by shrugging. 

“I’ve been better; how about yourself?” 

“About the same.” He rocked her back and forth, “I’m sorry for ignoring you.” 

Amaya was finding it harder to control the floodgate of tears that wanted to come. She shut her eyes tightly. 

“It’s okay.” 

“No, it’s not. I should have been running to you, not from you. I just got caught up in my own grief, that I ignored yours; as usual; there’s no excuse for that.” 

He wasn’t wrong. 

“I knew whom I was marrying.” 

“Still no excuse.” He kissed her neck, then laid his head on top of hers. He laid down on his back and drew her to him. 

“We’ll get her back.” She tried to convince herself as Mick stroked her hair.

“We will.” He sounded as convinced as she was. His hand traveled from her hair to her cheek then froze. Amaya realized at the same time he did that she was crying. She hastily wiped her tears away wishing she had caught on sooner. Most men didn’t know what to do when women cried. If there was one thing her mother had taught her growing up that was true, this was it. Mick especially fell into that category. He just didn’t know how to do emotions in general, let alone tears. 

He surprised her by rubbing her back. 

“Let it out.” He said. 

She looked up at him not sure if she had heard that correctly. 

“You’ve been needing to get it out for a while; go ahead.” He tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear. 

Amaya was under so much stress that she decided it was best not to ask any questions. She buried her head in his chest and began to weep bitterly. 

She wept for the fact that Darkseid existed and caused so much pain, she wept for the fact that her friends had to give up their son to protect him, but most of all she wept for the fact that she and Mick might never know their daughter if things went south, nor would she know them. 

“She’ll grow up hating us,” she sobbed a half hour later when she started to calm down. 

“Not if she’s like you,” Mick rubbed her back. 

He didn’t have to add: _But if she’s like me_... Both were thinking of that.

“Did we do the right thing?” Amaya asked. “I mean, I have no doubt the Stuarts will take good care of her; but was it right to give her away in the first place?” 

Mick was silent for a moment playing absentmindedly with her hair as he seemed to be thinking of a good answer. 

“I don’t know.” He finally responded, “But I do know that it would have been the wrong thing to keep her. All it’ll take is one attack from time pirates hired by  Darkseid and she and Tanner will be dead. This way, they’re in a safe place where they won’t find them. I doubt Damien and Darkseid know of their very existences.”

Amaya nodded.

“You’re right; I just miss her so much.” She looked up at him. 

He stared down at her and she saw for the first time since they had given her away the pain he had been trying to conceal. 

“I do, too.” 

Neither one said anything for a few moments and just enjoyed being together. Amaya felt herself begin to drift off to sleep and felt Mick get up then get under the covers next to her.

She felt Mick kiss her temple. 

“I love you.” 

Amaya snuggled closer, wrapping her arms around him and felt the blanket move up to her neck as Mick laid it on top of her. 

“I love you too.” 

* * *

 

Amaya woke up with a start to blaring alarms and the ship being tossed too and fro. She barely had time to think as she and Mick were thrown out of bed from the force of the movements. 

She laid on the ground stunned for only a moment as Mick grabbed her by the arm. 

“You okay?” His voice mirrored the urgency and panic she was currently feeling. 

“I think so. 

“Gideon, what’s happening?!” 

“it appears we’ve hit a time storm, Mrs. Rory. I would suggest you and Mr. Rory head to the deck and strap yourselves in.” 

Without a moment to lose, she and Mick got up and ran out into the hall just as Ray and Lily ran out of their quarters.” 

“What do you think causing this?” Amaya asked Lily as the entered the deck. 

“Your guess is as good as mine.” 

Len, Jax, Stein, Sara and Rip were already strapped in. 

Another jerk threw Amaya off kilter but right in front of her seat. She scrambled to sit up and strapped herself in. 

Mick took the seat next to her and did the same as did Ray and Lily.

“Gideon!” Rip shouted clutching his straps, “Set a crash course for the nearest safe timeline.” 

“Already did that,” Gideon’s robotic voice echoed throughout the room, “We’re heading to Coast City, 1986.”


	6. Chapter 6

**_I know you,_ **

**_Who are you now?_ **

**_Look into my eyes if you can’t remember._ **

**_Do you remember?_ **

**_Oh._ **

**_Red: Never Be The Same_ **

* * *

 

Zayna woke up from her restless night to the sun shining in her eyes. She groaned and stuck her head under her pillow. She felt _exhausted_ and her eyes were strained from her long night of crying. 

Her digital alarm went off and Zayna stuck her hand out and slammed it on top of the black time keeper until she hit the right button. 

She groaned again knowing she had to get up. She worked three days a week at the Coast City Diner, and this was one of them. Her shift began at 9 and ended at 3. Reluctantly, she pulled herself from out of her warm covers and set her feet on the cold wooden tiles of her bedroom. 

She fished through her closet until she found her jean mini skirt and black work shirt. She could get through the day. If she was lucky enough she’d be out the door before Tanner was even awake to looked outside his window. 

Zayna glanced outside of her own to see the blinds on Tanner’s bedroom window drawn indicating that he was still asleep. Good. The last thing she needed was to see him before she had to be to work. 

She got dressed and got to work on her makeup. She applied her lipstick trying not to remember how his lips felt against hers or his arms around her waist. 

She chided herself and finished her makeup then pulled her hair up into a nice long ponytail blocking out the look of dejection in his eyes from her mind. 

A knock sounded at her door. 

“Almost ready to go, sweetheart?” 

Zayna grabbed her necklace and hastily clipped it on. 

“Yeah, Dad.” 

* * *

 

All that day, she tried to forget her evening with Tanner by drowning herself in her job. She smiled at the adorable children, laughed with the business men, ignored the flirting that came from the older men, and tried not to visibly cringe when she saw couples around her age holding hands from across the table. 

“Well, well, if it isn’t our favorite waitress?” 

Zayna stopped by a table and felt herself beam at the couple in their early twenties. 

“Henry! Nora! How are you guys doing?” 

“Oh, same old, same old.” Henry Allen sat back in his booth sipping on his strawberry lemonade. 

“Henry...” Nora looked across at her boyfriend with a twinkle in her eyes. 

“Well, why don’t you tell her? I hear women in your place love to tell the news over and over again in detail.” 

“Tell me what?” Zayna tilted her head and placed her empty hand on her hip. 

Nora flashed her left hand at her with a diamond on her fourth finger. 

“We’re engaged!” 

Zayna forgot herself and squealed and jumped up and down. 

“For real?” In a second she was at Nora’s side. “When’s the wedding date? How did he ask you? Oh wait...” She laughed apologetically, “This isn’t my table; I’m sorry; I was just on my way to a table.”

“It’s okay, dear; I’ll tell you all about it next time we come in.” She winked at her, “We’ll be sure to get you as our waitress next time.” 

“I’m holding you two to that.” Zayna pointed her pencil in their direction as she walked over to the couple in the booth behind Henry and Nora.

“I’m sorry about that,” she smiled pulling out her notepad from her black apron,. “Got a little carried away with my friends’ engagement.” 

“Don’t worry about it.” The man sitting beside his wife smiled. Great; they were one of those couples who had to sit next to each other in the booth instead of across from each other. Zayna was almost disappointed the guy was married. He was really cute being lean with black hair, big brown eyes and a sunny smile. The blue eyed woman sitting next to him was a lucky girl. 

“My name is Zayna and I’m going to be your waitress today, can I get you something to drink?” 

“Um, sorry, what was your name again?” 

Zayna looked up from her notepad; it wasn’t the first time that someone had asked her to repeat her name. 

“Zayna; I know, it’s not common. But, hey, I didn’t name myself.” 

The man and his wife looked at each other, then back at her.

“We’re still deciding,” The woman said, “Could you come back in a few minutes? We have some friends with us and we would like it if we could order them all at once.” 

“Alright.” Zayna flipped her notepad shut and slipped it back into her apron. “I’ll come back around in a few. By the way, we do do breakfast all day if you want that for lunch.” 

“Did you say breakfast for lunch? Any chance of it being gluten-free?” The man’s winning smile spread across his face earning an elbow jab from his wife. 

Zayna scrunched her eyebrows together. 

“What free?” 

“Never mind,” the woman said with a smile. 

“Okay...” Zayna said, “Just let me know if you need anything.” 

“Will do.” 

She walked away in the direction of the kitchen to grab a coffee pot to refill some customers’ cups. 

* * *

 

“So I guess this is the diner that haircut said he’d meet us at.” Mick and Amaya walked into the parking lot with Sara and Len beside them. 

“It smells so good,” Amaya breathed in the aromatic scents as she linked arms with her husband and rested her head against his bicep. 

Mick patted her hands then opened the the door and gestured for her to go first. 

Sara laughed. 

“I”m sorry,” she said holding Leonard’s hand, “After 3 years, I’m still not used to seeing him do that.” 

Amaya smiled and walked in followed by Sara and Len. She looked behind her as Mick closed the door then return to her side. 

“There they are,” Len waved in the direction of Ray and Lily sitting at a large booth that was obviously for 8 people. 

“It’s really busy here,” Amaya observed. 

“Good thing they got us a spot.” Sara commented as they walked across the room to where Ray and Lily were.

“Something bugging you?” Sara asked Lily as they scooted into the booth. 

Lily and Ray looked at each other uncomfortably. 

“Well, how do we say this?” Ray scratched the back of his neck his eyes darting between Amaya and Mick. “I think our waitress is....er....your daughter.” 

“ _What?!_ ” Amaya and Mick said in unison looking at each other. Their next instinct was to look around the dining room. 

“Where?” Amaya felt her heartstrings tug as she looked frantically at the  different array of waitresses. 

“Don’t look,” Lily said, “She’s already weirded out by us because Ray just asked her about gluten-free options.” 

“That’s my girl.” Mick gave a choked chuckle looking around. Amaya gripped his hand; she didn’t see anybody that could be her. 

“What does she look like?” 

“Um, like Amaya.” Ray said tilting his head. 

“But with Mick’s smile and eyes.” 

“Maybe his temperament; pretty excitable; you should have seen her react to  a couple of her friends getting engaged.”

Amaya felt herself smile sadly and looked up at Mick who wrapped an arm around her in response. 

“She’s wearing that necklace that you guys gave her.” Lily said. 

“Oh, that means she’s 16.” Amaya felt herself panic. She looked back up at Mick. “That means they gave her the box of stuff we left her.”

“There’s a picture of us in there,” Mick reminded her. 

“That means she knows what we look like.” Amaya covered her mouth, “She’ll see us.”

“Well try to keep it on the downlow,” Lily said, “Here she comes.” 

Amaya looked and felt the air leave her lungs. She wore her hair up in a high ponytail, gold bangle earrings, the fox-flame necklace that she and Mick left her, a jean mini skirt and a black shirt with the diner’s logo on it. She was breathtaking. Amaya wasn’t sure she was ready for this. She felt Mick’s hand tighten around hers. That made two of them. 

“Are these all your friends?” Zayna asked with a smile pulling out a notepad from her apron. Amaya felt her heart momentarily stop. She _did_ have Mick’s smile. 

“Yes.” Lily said. 

Amaya felt herself snap out of her trance. Wait, why didn’t she recognize she and Mick? She looked at Mick and knew that he was thinking the same thing. He started to tap his foot nervously. 

_Honey, look this way,_ she silently pleaded, _Don’t you recognize us? We’re your parents? Zayna!_

Zayna looked at them and she made eye contact and her smile vanished as Amaya felt hers begin. 

Zayna blinked a couple of times. 

“I’m sorry for staring,” she suddenly laughed, “it’s almost like looking into a mirror.” 

Amaya felt her heart drop as confusion settled in, but kept her smile as a brave front. 

“Yeah,” she agreed, “it is.” 

“We could almost be sisters.” 

“Yeah.” Amaya felt her heart chipping apart bit by bit, “almost.” 

“Uncanny.” Ray commented, “Ow!” Mick had kicked him from under the table. 

“Sorry about that,” Zayna said turning her attention to Len and Sara. She nearly did a double take. 

“I’m sorry,” she said, “you look just like a friend of mine.” Her brown eyes were as wide as saucers. 

Sara and Len perked up. 

“Which one of us?” Leonard asked. 

“You.” Zayna blinked, “That’s so weird.” She shook her head. 

“I’m so sorry,” Zayna placed a hand on her forehead, “Um, what can I get for you to drink?” 

* * *

 

“Why didn’t she recognize us?” Amaya asked the moment Zayna left the table with their orders. 

“She must not have seen the picture.” Sara said. 

“But how? It doesn’t make sense that she has the necklace but not the photo.” 

“Maybe the Stuarts have been giving her the gifts one at a time.” Mick suggested. 

“Against our wishes?” 

“Maybe they needed to.” 

“Why would they need to?” 

“Maybe she just wanted something of her mommy and daddy’s that she could hold on to.” Sara commented. “So they didn’t see a problem with letting her have the necklace.” 

“Alright, that could be true.” She looked at Sara, “Could the family you left Tanner with moved here to Coast City.” 

“I guess it could be possible.” Sara looked at Leonard. 

“I’m not getting my hopes us too high.” Len said but it was obvious he was struggling not to. 

“How many peple are there out there that could possibly look like you? You don’t even look like your own father.” 

“Flattering, Sara, but I still wouldn’t get them up too high.” 

* * *

 

Zayna poured four glasses of milk, one glass of orange juice and one glass of cranberry juice trying to keep her head on straight. That woman haunted her; the man too. Not the one sitting next to the woman, but the one that looked like Tanner. 

She stole a peek at the table from the kitchen by way of the window and looked at the man. The way he fiddled with his hands, the narrow blue eyes, everything about him screamed Tanner. SHe glanced at the woman. She looked...sad; dejected even. The man beside her was rubbing her back. 

Unbidden, Mariel’s words from 3 years back came to her. 

_Your father was a white man..._

Zayna shoved the developing thought out of her head. 

THere was no way that those two people coud be her parents. Even if they had her as teenagers, the possibility of them still being together after all these years were pretty slim.

Zayna placed the drinks on a tray and proceeded to take them to the respected table. The diner front door opened in the corner of her and Zayna froze. 

Tanner walked in holding little Hal’s hand as he toddled into the diner with his big brother. Zayna steeled herself and kept on moving. 

“Here are your drinks,” She smiled as best as she could giving the milk and juice to the gruop of couples trying to keep her eyes off of she and Tanner’s lookalikes. 

“Thank-you.” 

“Hal, get back here!” 

She turned around to see that Hal had broken free from Tanner’s hand and was running over to her with a big smile and something in her hand. Before Zayna could stop him he wrapped his chubby arms around her legs and held on tight. 

He had grabbed momentary attention from the customers as collective “awwws” went around the room. 

Zayna smiled tightly and patted the top of his dark head glaring daggers at Tanner who’s eyes reflected pleading and aplogy. 

“I’m so sorry,” Zayna turned around, Hal still clining to her leg, and faced the group of couples in the booth. “I’m proabaly one of the worst waitresses you’ve ever had; I’ll be right back. Tanner, I’m going to kill you.” 

She picked up Hal and proceeded to walk toward Tanner.

“By the way,” she heard the biggest man behind her growl at one of his companions, “If it comes out that your son knocked up my daughter at 15, I’m going to kill him.” 

God have mercy on the poor boy’s soul, whoever he was. 

* * *

 

“What are you doing here?” Zayna asked handing Hal to Tanner. 

Tanner took Hal and bounced him on his hip. 

“Hal wanted to give you something of a late birthday present; I tried to tell Mrs. Jordan about the situation but you know how she is; love no war, product of the sixties and all that.” 

“So she told you to bring Hal here.” 

“Yup.” Tanner popped his “p”. 

“Alright.” No need to take this out on little Hal. “So what did you get me?” She flashed him a genuine smile. 

Hal smiled brightly. 

“I made dis awwoplane all by mysef!” He handed her a model airplane.

“Now, Hal,” Tanner chided with a smile, “You know that’s not true.” 

“Alwite; Tanner hepped me.” 

Zayna took the black airplane and saw her name painted on both sides of the plane in orange cursive. 

“Thank-you so much, Hal; I love it.” 

“I’m gonna wide those when I grow up!” Hal squirmed in Tanner arms and Tanner st him down to hold him by the hand. 

“Are you?” Zayna looked the plane over. 

“Yeah; I’ll be so fast, no one can stop me!” He made airplane noises and both Zayna and Tanner chuckled, “I’ll even fly out into space!” 

“Alright, intergalactic pilot; let’s get you to the ice cream shop.” He looked at Zayna one last time in the eyes and Zayna felt her her heart pull toward him reliving the previous night. He suddenly smiled at her. 

“Looks like we have an audience.” He gesture behind her and Zayna turned to see the couples in the booth suddenly turn back to their drinks. This time, Tanner’s lookalike and his wife looked ill. 

Zayna turned around. 

“I wouldn’t be surprised if I just lost my tip with them.” 

“Sorry about that, Zay,” Tanner looked at her one last time before leaving the diner, Hal waving behind him with an innocent smile.

“Bye-bye!” Tanner opened the door and left by it, the bell ringing as the door closed shut. 

Zayna breathed out and began to walk back to the kitchen. 

She suddenly felt a hard slap on her bottom and she yelped in surprise. 

“Hey, Zayna; you miss me?” 

Anger coursed through her veins. Couldn’t she get a break? 

She whipped  around slamming her notepad into Rhett Zoloman’s face not caring if she got in trouble.

“What are you doing back in town? Aren’t you supposed to be in military school after what happened last October?” 

Rhett rubbed his jaw as his buddies laughing in response to Zayna slapping him. 

“Yeah, and now I’m back. I was just talking to my buddies here, and they agree that you cut me quite a raw deal back then.” 

Zayna blinked. 

“Really?” She tapped her pencil against her leg. 

“Uh, huh.” 

“All of them?” She looked around the table at the 6 other men that were sitting with him. 

“You bet.” 

“Then the military is filled with jerks. I can’t believe they’d be okay with drugging a girl then proceeding to take her to a back closet to rape her.” 

“Shhh!” 

“Whoa, whoa, wait what?” One of his guys said. 

“You did what to her?” Another asked disgust apparent on his face. 

“Guys, guys,” Rhett laughed nervously, “You can’t believe anything she says; she’s a pathological liar.” 

“You can decide for yourselves whom to believe,” Zayna said, “But tell me which story makes more sense: that he signed up for military school in his junior year of high school because of a broken heart, or because he decided that drugging and raping girls was a fun recreational activity.” She smiled. “Have a nice day.” 

She walked away smugly leaving Rhett defenseless against 6 enraged soldiers.

An hour went by before the couples at the booth got up to leave saying they left their tip on the table and they were going to pay at the desk. 

Zayna walked over to the table to collect the tip clean up surprised that she got a tip at all. 

She stacked the cups on top of each other and grabbed the paper bills on the table and froze. In her hand was $40. 

No; this had to be a mistake. 

Leaving the cups behind she ran out the door to where the couples were walking in the parking lot. 

“Wait! Guys!” She waved the two 20s in her hand, “This can’t be right.” 

They turned around and the tallest guy with her lookalike smiled down at her. 

“No, it’s yours, sweetheart.” 

“You sure.” 

“Yeah, we’re sure.” The woman beside him smiled sadly. 

“This is $40!” She felt her eyes widen. 

“We all pitched in, if that makes you feel better.” The man with the sunny smile said. 

“You’re sure?” Zayna asked one last time still not believing her luck. 

“Yeah, it’s yours.” The blonde woman laughed, “Go spend it on something nice; we enjoyed having you as our waitress.” 

“How?” Zayna decided to stop arguing, “Alright. Thank-you!” She felt a smile break onto her face. “Thank-you so much!” She turned around to leave. 

“Hey, Zayna.” 

She turned around to see the big man looking at her. 

“Nice work on the military jerk back there.” 

Her smile grew if possible. 

“Thank-you!” She leaped and stuck her money in her apron so no one would see and ran back inside.

* * *

 

The moment Zayna left, Amaya felt her heart and smile sink. 

“I think we just made your daughter’s day.” Sara said putting a comforting arm around her. 

“What do we do now that we know Zayna and Tanner are here?” Amaya was struggling not to cry.

“We,” Sara rested her head against Amaya’s shoulders, “Talk to Rip.”

**Author's Note:**

> So what do you think so far? Let me know in the comment section, but please no foul language and character bashing.


End file.
